Saturday, January 22, 2011
Red Cross staffer Kirsten Kuykendall
The Red Cross has a network
Mari Canizales of the American Red Cross provides information to a soldier at Fort Belvoir, Va. The Red Cross has a network of more than 1,500 offices around the world -- including sites in Iraq, Afghanistan and Kuwait -- and thousands of volunteers. Courtesy photo
Family Advocacy Launches Safe Sleep Campaign
Posted on Sat, Jan 22, 2011 at 8:38 PM
By Elaine Wilson
American Forces Press Service
WASHINGTON, Jan. 21, 2011 - It was eight years ago, but I vividly recall the mix of joy and terror I felt after my daughter was born.An Internet information junkie, I had researched everything from swaddling to feeding to putting my baby to sleep. But, as I'm sure other Web addicts can attest, I soon discovered a host of conflicting and sometimes confusing information.
Sleep was a particularly vexing topic. Should I put her to bed on her back or belly? Can I give her a pillow or blanket? Is it OK to co-sleep? My questions went on and on.
In the Air Force at the time, I was relieved to turn to trusted base resources for clarification and advice, particularly when it involved sleep, for both my baby and myself. And the resources for new and expectant parents are even more abundant and accessible today.
Most recently, the Defense Department's Family Advocacy Program launched a "Putting Baby Safely to Sleep" campaign to ensure parents have the most current, life-saving information.
The campaign's cornerstone is a blog for new and expectant parents called "Sleep Like a Baby: The Keys to Infant Slumber." In the coming months, the blog will include information and links to resources from a variety of subject-matter experts.
Topics will include preparing a nursery, caring for a baby while on the move, managing parental sleep deprivation and fatigue during a deployment cycle, health concerns related to sleep, talking to caregivers and extended family about safe sleep practices and more.
"It is in those first sleep-deprived weeks and months that new parents need good solid information and support in creating safe sleep environments and practices to ensure that everyone gets off to a good start," wrote Mary Campise, a licensed clinical social worker with the family advocacy program, in the first blog post: "Military Parents: This Blog's for You." Add in frequent relocations, deployment cycles and parenting solo due to military operations, and you can see how military moms and dads could use some unique support."
I encourage our new and expectant moms and dads to follow this blog and stay tuned for information regarding this important campaign. I know I will. Three kids later, and I still have questions!
To comment on this blog, or to read other posts, visit the Family Matters website.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Raghib Muradabadi passed away
Posted on Friday January 21, 2011 at 9:29am
Renowned Urdu poet and one of the last masters of the technical aspect of poetry writing (Ilm-i-Aroos), Raghib Muradabadi passed away on Wednesday. in Karachi. He was 93.
Born in 1918 in Delhi, Raghib Muradabadi graduated from Delhi College and learned the art of composing poetry from the likes of Yas Yagana, Safi Lakhnavi and Maulana Zafar Ali Khan. After partition, he came to Karachi where he was made the head of the rehabilitation committee for migrants by former prime minister Liaquat Ali Khan. He contributed a great deal to the betterment of the migrant community.He wrote 40 books which include a collection of ghazals, nazms, naat, a collection of poetry in Punjabi and translations in verse of Quranic Ayats and Ahadees. His collection of ghazals Rag-i-Guftar was received with critical acclaim as did his naats, Midhatul Bashar .
After Josh Malihabadi, whom he knew very well, Raghib Muradabadi was considered the best writer of rubaai (quatrain). One of his books titled Maut has 500 rubaais on the topic of death.
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| Iftikhar Chaudri |
The foreword to the book is written by Allama Talib Jauhri. He also penned his thoughts on the issue of terrorism. His compilation of Josh`s letters, Khutoot-i-Josh Malihabadi , and a book titled Mukalmat-i-Josh-o-Raghib speak for his closeness to Josh Malihabadi. Raghib Muradabadi had thousands of shagirds (pupils) the most prominent of which was the popular poet Habib Jalib. It is believed it`s Raghib sahib who suggested to Habib that he adopt Jalib as his pen name.
Raghib sahib was quite fluent in the Punjabi language. Talking to Dawn in an interview last year, he explained what had inspired him to learn the language.
“I had developed friendship with a Hindu girl back in India. Once she remarked that `jay tusi saday naal pyar karday ho tay, sadi zaban naal vee pyar karo.` (If you love me, you should love our language also.) I accepted the challenge, listened to Punjabi programmes on the radio, read Punjabi books and acquired such mastery over the language that I began composing poetry in it.”
“I had developed friendship with a Hindu girl back in India. Once she remarked that `jay tusi saday naal pyar karday ho tay, sadi zaban naal vee pyar karo.` (If you love me, you should love our language also.) I accepted the challenge, listened to Punjabi programmes on the radio, read Punjabi books and acquired such mastery over the language that I began composing poetry in it.”
Father, Son Serve Together
Posted on Thu, Jan 20, 2011 at 8:18 PM By Army 1st Lt. Nicholas Rasmussen of Task Force Lethal PAKTIA PROVINCE, Afghanistan, Jan. 20, 2011 - Most soldiers who are deployed miss their homes. But for Army Spc. Steven Starkey and Army Pfc. Andrew Starkey, a large part of what the word "home" represents is just a five-minute walk up the hill.
Both Starkeys are assigned to the Iowa Army National Guard's Company F, 334th Support Battalion, out of Red Oak, Iowa. Both soldiers said they joined the Guard to serve their country and fulfill some personal goals. Steven enlisted in the active-duty Army in 1989 as a heavy equipment mobile tactical truck wheel mechanic. He was slated to serve during Operation Desert Storm when personal issues at home prevented his involvement. He was young and dealing with a troubled marriage when his chain of command made the determination to let him remain in the rear as his unit prepared to support Desert Storm, he said. "Looking back, I don't feel I was mature enough to handle the task at hand," he acknowledged, adding that his brief service helped him to mature and gave him cause to consider future opportunities for service. The events of 9/11 reignited that simmering ambition. "I felt like I had left something on the table, an obligation I had left incomplete" he said. So almost 15 years after his initial service, he began the process to rejoin the Army, eventually serving with the Iowa National Guard. The process wasn't easy. Steven had remarried and had three additional children -- daughters Ashley and Rachel and stepson Jon -- when he decided to re-enlist for active duty. Despite trying three times, the active Army would not accept his application because he had more than two dependents. Steven gave up trying for active duty after the third attempt. Then, in the spring of 2007, he met his daughter's soccer coach, a staff sergeant in the Iowa National Guard. The soccer coach informed Steven that the Iowa National Guard had waivers and programs to allow people in situations like his to join. A month after speaking with the soccer coach, he was at the military entrance processing station swearing in for service. A year later, Andrew raised his right hand and made the oath to serve his country, but he had a different reason: his daughter, Kyra. Being in the Iowa Army National Guard has given Andrew a means to provide health care and child support for Kyra, he said. "I plan to start a savings account with the money I'm making [on deployment] to help pay for her college," he said. But joining the Guard came with some additional, unanticipated benefits for Andrew. "I see myself grow every day," he said, "whether or not I enjoy it all the time." Before making his commitment to serve in the Iowa Guard, Andrew had a "loose-cannon mentality," as his father put it. He was an unruly youth who often did not think before he acted. That was nine months ago. Now, six months into deployment, Andrew is a much different person. "He's level-headed and can take criticism constructively like an adult," said Steven, who added witnessing this change has been one of the most rewarding benefits to come out of being on this deployment together. Steven said sometimes a father has to be a father, regardless of rank, and stick up for his son. "It's hard to keep the fatherly instinct at bay when I see my son getting in trouble by his boss," Steven said. "I often have to swallow my pride and know my place." The Starkeys act more like brothers or best friends when they're together here, calling each other by their last name and making fun of just about anything the other says. Though they work at the same company, the Starkeys still feel as though they could spend more time together. As trying as some days may get, they said, they usually find some time throughout the week to hang out and unwind together, giving them a chance to solidify, in a unique way, a bond that can only be made between a father and son deployed together. "The one thing that everyone else wants, we have: a family member on deployment," Andrew said. | ||
| Related Sites: NATO International Security Assistance Force |
Thursday, January 20, 2011
When he was "just a boyfriend."
Posted on Thu, Jan 20, 2011 at 3:29 AM
By Elaine Wilson of American Forces Press Service
WASHINGTON, Jan. 19, 2011 – I’m pleased to introduce a new Family Matters guest blogger, Megan Just, a Navy veteran and the editor of the weekly newspaper at March Air Reserve Base in Riverside, Calif.
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Just a Boyfriend
By Megan Just
A gust of frigid rain pummeled my face. The hems of my Navy uniform pants wicked rainwater as I splashed across the sidewalk. Inside the dry safety of my car, I cranked the seat heaters to high. It was another stormy day in the long string of stormy days we'd had so far that winter. It was another day Eric would be soaked to the bone and hypothermic as he biked across town.
Faced with a half year of separation following my deployment to Iraq, Eric left the idyllic, sunny Southern California town where he attended graduate school to join me in Rhode Island.
Because the arrangement was temporary, we shared a car. In theory, Eric could have shuttled me to work and had the car to himself all day. The problem was, Eric was just a boyfriend. While he was allowed to drop me off, he was not allowed to come back on base to pick me up. And so he hunkered down and braved the rain.
One of the most important rituals in a military ceremony is to recognize the honoree’s spouse. The spouse is called on stage to receive a bouquet of flowers: a symbolic thank you for the sacrifices the he or she has made on behalf of the spouse's military service. These are always occasions for tears. The spouse's sacrifice has been great and it's been anything but easy.
Sometimes, when I observe these ceremonies, a lump forms in my throat. The sacrifices Eric made because of my military service ran a lot deeper than a few months of rainy bike rides. For the duration of my time in the Navy, Eric was just a boyfriend and therefore, he was never recognized for his sacrifices.
The truth is that, in many ways, the sacrifices of a service member's boyfriend or girlfriend are no different than those made by a spouse, but they make them without the benefits, recognition, commitment or support.
For a civilian, dating a service member is a lot more complicated than dating another civilian. Yes, there are all the acronyms that have to be translated and the silly little things you have to do (like sneaking your significant other in the backdoor of the gym so you can work out together), but there is so much more to it than that.
Eric has told me that one of the most profound peculiarities of dating a service member was the presence of a third party in the relationship. "It's like you're the most important thing to them, but Uncle Sam is more important."
It was our third date when the shadow of the Navy first altered our plans together. I had a rare four-day weekend and we planned to go rock climbing in Yosemite. I was not allowed to leave a designated radius from my duty station and Yosemite was significantly outside this distance.
Although I knew Eric had been eagerly anticipating the trip, I was afraid of being caught and I chickened out at the last minute.
We had only been dating a few months when I moved across country to my new duty station in Rhode Island. A few months after that, I received orders to Iraq.
"It's a scary prospect to date someone in the military because they are largely absentee," Eric told me once. "It's contrary to the idea of what a relationship is."
In addition to the separation, the deployment raised sobering questions we would have never faced so early in our relationship as a civilian-civilian couple.
As my colleagues prepared powers of attorneys for their spouses, I had to decide if I should list Eric as a life insurance beneficiary and include him in my will. He was just a boyfriend, but he also was the man I hoped to eventually marry. If I was hurt in Iraq, I wanted him to be the first to know. If I died, I wanted to recognize him not for the title held, but for his significance in my life.
Many military couples mitigate these complications by getting married right before deployment. This ensures rights of the significant other in the case of an injury or death, and it also provides perks, such as medical insurance, commissary benefits, a pay increase, and access to family support programs.
Eric and I had been dating less than a year when I left and we did not opt to do this, but he supported me through deployment like a spouse, nevertheless. He sent care packages, letters, e-mails, and he made funny little videos to keep me up-to-date on his life back in the United States. He ran a multitude of errands for me and he handled the details of our post-deployment plans.
Most importantly, he was available on the other end of the phone every time I called, no matter the hour, no matter what else I was interrupting. This was no small commitment; I called him almost every day of my deployment. It was because of this steady connection with him that I didn't implode from all the small stresses that add up while serving in Iraq.
Eric and I married a year after I got out of the Navy. Although he now wears the rank of husband, he is no more important to me than when he was just a boyfriend. He is still the same person I've loved all along and I know it was his continued patience and flexibility during our early years that made our relationship possible.
We've all heard our share of heartless "Dear John" stories, but it's important to not discount the contributions of the significant other during the happy periods of the relationship. Even if the couple never progresses to engagement or marriage, the service member's significant other has bent twice as far to compensate for the service member not being able to bend at all.
The military-civilian dating relationship is difficult, but there are things each party can do to make it easier. With our one-car situation in Rhode Island, for example, I started asking questions around base and learned that my commanding officer could write a special permission letter that would allow Eric to pick me up from work. It wasn't much, but anything that can ease external stress on your relationship is important, especially when you're working on the foundation of something you hope will last a lifetime.
As a former service member who had a civilian boyfriend, I have an appreciation for spouses' organizations that extend invitations to significant others, especially during deployments. I also think it's fantastic that the Reserve and National Guard's Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program welcomes spouses, as well as service members' boyfriends and girlfriends. After all, every military spouse was first a girlfriend or boyfriend.
As I look back on the years when my husband was just a boyfriend, I realize the guilty feeling I sometimes have at military ceremonies is not just because Eric never received a showy bouquet of flowers from the Navy. It is because I failed to thank him enough for his sacrifices.
Here are a few questions for you:
How did your experience as a service member's girlfriend or boyfriend differ from your experience as a military spouse?
How can a service member make the dating relationship easier for his or her significant other, and vice versa?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
They daily face challenges at the ship
Posted on Wed, Jan 19, 2011 at 7:27 PM By Navy Petty Officer 1st Class Nathanael Miller U.S. Naval Forces Central Command ARABIAN GULF, Jan. 19, 2011 - Armed with scissors, clippers, keys to the ship's store and laundry detergent, the sailors who wear the crossed quill and key of the ship's serviceman, or SH, rating badge provide a multitude of services to the crew of amphibious transport dock USS Ponce. Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Harlan Jones, clad in a black barber's smock and awaiting his next customer, said the ship's serviceman rating brings a variety of services to Ponce. "Ship's servicemen provide services to the crew, generally anything other than what the culinary specialists provide and general parts the logistical specialists provide," he explained. Culinary specialists provide food service for the crew, while logistical specialists are responsible for all supply matters, but a gap still exists, Jones added, and the ship's serviceman rating fills that gap.
Navy Petty Officer 3rd Class Eric Chandler noted that sailors require several skill sets to be successful in handling the rating's diverse responsibilities. Security, laundry, sales, retail management and barber services are some of the skills a sailor must master to qualify, he said. One example of the daily challenges ship's servicemen face is keeping the ship's store stocked. "You can never know exactly how much you need in the ship's store," Chandler said. "You're constantly going up there to check up on it." Although the ship's laundry is not as labor-intensive as the ship's store or barber shop, it is just as critical to the crew's readiness. Even though Ponce has a "self service" laundry, a ship's serviceman has to man the space to ensure the machines are functioning and assist shipmates if there is a problem. Noting that clean uniforms are as much a part of daily hygiene and sanitary living conditions at sea as daily showers are, Jones said the ship's laundry affects more than morale. The crew's health can be at stake as well, he explained. In the ship's barber shop with their clippers buzzing and scissors snipping, ship's servicemen help to keep their shipmates' hair within standards and boost morale at the same time. "I love being able to help people out," Jones said. "There are little things about your self-esteem that start when you wake up in the morning. You look at yourself in the mirror, and if you have a messed-up haircut that takes a little bit off. Those little things start to turn into bigger things as you go along during the day." With the broad range of duties required, the ship's servicemen stay busy. Their efforts affect readiness as well as morale. Whether it's keeping the laundry running, selling candy in the ship's store or chatting with shipmates while cutting hair, the ship's servicemen said, they provide a valuable service to the fleet. | ||
| Related Sites: USS Ponce U.S. Naval Forces Central Command |
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